Photo By: Mel Fechter
As a retired widow I have dared to adventure into realms that were heretofore not on my list of places where colorful experiences could be had. One of these is the world of computer dating sites. I must make it clear at the outset that the results of my foray into that world has left a plethora of failed connections in its wake. Many contacts offered brief but pleasant “hello, how are you” exchanges. Very few were eager or at least willing to share stories from their lives. Most of the others offered communiques with a variety of outcomes, such as frank disappointment, hurtful encounters, outright scams asking for money or to do something illegal, sob stories, soulful pleas for advice, sweet but temporary connections, etc. Surprisingly, the ages of the men ranged from 40’s to 80’s, even though they knew I was in my late 60’s to early 70’s. Those much younger than me insisted that age does not make a difference…. I always reply that one day they will understand that aging itself changes a person’s perspective on that subject. I have occasionally actually subscribed to a site. One time I did solely because I found a guy that I thought was a perfect match, but my several emails were met with total silence. Either he was not interested, or he did not subscribe. Either way, my investment was futile. Because I’ve not found anybody else that was worth renewing my subscriptions, I mostly just use the limited free services they offer. This means that you can’t really contact anybody beyond getting their attention by “viewing their profile” and sending a free “nudge”. Although I intentionally include several clues in my profiles that can easily be used to contact me, so far I know of only one guy that has used them. We were not well matched, but we have remained casual friends ever since. When I have found profiles that I felt would be a good match I tried everything I could to reach them. Sometimes their user name gives a clue, so I searched on Google or social media, and I actually found a few. I even talked on the phone with one or two, and had an actual date with one. However, he was not at all interested in continuing. Later he called me to see who the number in his phone was for, since he was to be married soon and was cleaning out his contacts. He didn’t even know who I was. That whole thing was a real downer. One guy said in his profile that he was a lawyer, and even gave the name of the company where he had worked before retiring. So I sent an email to them to forward to him, but he wrote back to say he was already seeing someone and was not interested. However, several times since then he has “viewed my profile”, so it really makes me wonder what’s up with that. Another guy has a business in a small town in Alaska and has a lot in common with my sister who lives in a nearby town. So I googled his business and sent a message, but got no reply. Oh well, I gave it a shot anyway. Because of experiences like this I am occasionally engulfed by waves of melancholy at my abject failure to find even one guy that I can consider a dear and lasting friend. However, when I look back now at the variety in the messages I have received, I can clearly see the enrichment to my life that they have provided, be it pleasant or just a learning experience for me. A great example of this is the blog article I recently posted about the similar stories of WWII from 2 guys who were both innocent little boys but on opposite sides of that terrible conflict. Sadly, many of my previous forays into cyber correspondence have been lost, but those that did get saved have many thoughts and subjects that can send a person searching through the archives of their own lives. This then could be a subject of another full-length epistolary volume, documenting exchanges in their own words with guys from all sorts of far-flung places, and offering a small slice of what their lives are like. Of course, my responses to them will give some insight into the effect they have on my own life and thoughts as well. Unfortunately at this time the final formatting of HELLO MYRMIDON requires my full attention. But when I can I will gather together all the available letters into one place, and when the time is right I will share them with the world. So hold on to your hats, this is the latest addition to the growing list of possible future books, and promises to be quite a ride.
All Rights Reserved